Terms, Conditions and Privacy Policy of DataParenting… in Humanoid English!

Last updated: 14 October 2014

What is this?

Welcome to DataParenting! We go by a few other names as well, including DataDads and DataMoms. We’d love for you to use our site and our app — if you agree to all the terms and details listed here. If you don’t agree, then don’t use our site or app: we just won’t love you back. If you do agree, then that’s wonderful and we’ll do anything we reasonably can to make your experience fantastic. Even write every little legalistic detail in clear, fun English, just like this :)

And if you have any question at any point, just drop us a note: [email protected]

Oh, and since these are so much fun to read, we recommend you check back here every once in a while, since they might change. We’d love it if you check back every day, although we’re not sure that checking back that frequently would be a great use of your time.

Who are you?

You’re you! You’re also a user of either our website, or one of our applications.

You are not your baby! This application is for adults — anyone with a child — and not for young children. In fact, if you don’t have children, don’t use the site or the application, please.

And these count whether you’re a registered user on our system or site, or just an anonymous fly on the Internet passing by.

Who are we?

We are DataParenting.com. We’re so confident in what we do that we put our names out there: Morgan Friedman and Nathan Pahucki.

Is this Medical Advice?

We are not doctors and it is important — essential — that you don’t consider any ideas, suggestions, tips, or advice that you read on any DataParenting-associated site or property to be medical advice. It’s not and we go to lengths to try to make that distinction clear. Think of us as a more modern and collaborative version of those old-school parenting books you would buy in the bookstore, rather than a doctor replacement.

If your child is sick, shows symptoms of anything you don’t know how to deal with, if you ever have any doubt — call your pediatrician immediately! Please! We don’t want anything bad to happen to your beautiful child!

What do we expect from you?

When you submit any content or participate in the community or system, we expect you to be:

  • Honest
  • Respectful
  • Not violate anyone else’s intellectual property (anything you write or post, such as text or photos, should be your own)
  • Not try to spam anyone or take advantage of our system
  • Abide by all laws in both the jurisdiction you live in, and the jurisdiction you’re currently in at the moment.

What should you expect from us?

When you participate in our site and community, you can expect us to:

  • To give you, our client and partner, the benefit of the doubt, at every moment
  • To always keep your interests first (while being reasonable about it, of course!)
  • Give you the best advice and help we can (while remembering that we’re not doctors, just some guys who love kids!)
  • Keep any identifiable information about you completely private. We are privacy freaks–read more about that below.
  • Create our algorithms to try to predict all milestones in the most accurate way we can
  • To never spam you
  • To not give away your email address to other people who will try to sell you things

 

Who owns your data?

Anything that you upload or create to the site, such as photos or content, you own (so you can do anything you want with the same photos or content on your own). But… you give us a perpetual and irrevocable (translation: for forever!) license to use it any way we want. Even if we don’t tell you beforehand. And, in using anything you give us, our core obligation is to always respect you and your rights at all points and, more specifically, that we never violate these terms — for example, we need to keep your identity (and anything readily identifiable about you) private. Unless you want to be publicly identified. Let me say that again, clearly and for emphasis: we’re privacy freaks and we promise over-the-top that we won’t do anything with anything you give us that could publicly lead back to you — unless you want us to!

Use the site and app at your own risk

Use the site and app at your own risk, although we try everything we reasonably can to eliminate all risks. We can’t guarantee (and we aren’t liable for, in case there’s a court case) that any information or advice will achieve the desired results, if followed. We aren’t doctors–did we make that clear? Using it at your own risk means, if anything goes wrong and there’s a problem (a loss or damage, any negligence) then it’s not our fault. We will go all-out to try to avoid and help solve problems… but there’s only so much we can do.

You also agree to indemnify us from any action, liability, cost, damage, loss or legal fees. Let me translate that into English: To use this site and app, you promise that you won’t make us suffer any cost (such as, our needing to pay our lawyers, or pay for damages). Said differently: we’ll do our best, and you do your best, and no one will sue anyone, and if you do try to sue us, you’ll be responsible for all the costs in all directions.

Privacy

We are privacy freaks. That’s why we included features like, asking for a username, rather than using your real name. We will go all out to keep your real names and identities private.

We hate spammers and will never give your email address to anyone who will spam you. We said that above, and it’s worth repeating it now.

If a government forces us to hand over the information, or we feel at risk of a major lawsuit if we don’t hand the government the information, then we will do so. We only have so much money in the bank to pay our lawyers.

Cancellation

If you want to cancel your account at any time, just delete your app from your phone, and send us an email to [email protected] with the subject “Account Deletion” and we’ll delete your account within 5 US business days.

If you would like us to remove any public mention of any data related to your account (even if you don’t delete it), then let us know as well.

Following the law

We follow the laws of San Francisco, California, USA.

We’ll try to resolve any problems ourselves, between us — and we’ll do everything we can to make you happy. But if we need to go to court, then it will be the court in San Francisco.

However, we don’t know where you are. You need to follow the laws of where you are from and where you are.

If the place you’re now in or permanently live in considers a part of this agreement invalid — well, the rest of it will still be valid.

Payments

The DataParenting app is free, and there are also some bonus features you can pay for, such as the ability to upload videos (photos are included for free; videos take up a lot of space, so we need to charge for them). The video upload feature costs USD $3.99 (paid via iTunes), and lets you upload an unlimited number of videos up to 4 minutes or 50 megabytes each. This subscription renews annually, and if you want to cancel it, you must cancel it at least 24 hours before the year ends, and you can do this (or make any changes to the subscription) via the Account Settings within iTunes. Apple can’t issue any refunds. However, we will let you download all your videos and photos at any point, so you never need to be stuck with us (we hate it when people get stuck with one provider) — so we’ll always let you permanently keep access to all your files and data. You own your information and should always have access to it, no matter what.

Questions

If you have any questions, contact us at [email protected]

Check back regularly, to see how fun this is :)

If you’ve made this to the end, then drop us a note to say “hi”! We’ll mail you back and would love to talk to anyone who actually reads this to the very last word. You must be a detail-oriented maniac… just like we are.

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